Smell ya later

She asked what problem killing myself would solve, and after a little while I said, “I just don’t like being alive all that much.”

She said, “that is sad,”

and I said, “No shit, Sherlock,” and gave my talking dog a sick 90s movie high-5.

this is an excerpt from a longer blog. read the whole blog by joining my Patreon

Sam Columna
Hey, Coral —

Watching the episode of the Walking Dead where Lorie gives birth and dies and it’s like- wupgh.

Working on making a Patreon page and the secret hope is that making the page will make me make things. I’m pretty sure that that’s not how Patreon was intended. Like you’re supposed to have some kind of an audience before you can ask an audience to give you money. FOR EXCLUSIVE BEHIND THE SCENES CONTENT. It feels ridiculous but I think I have to give it an honest go. 2019, release an album in 4 parts. Be consistent with Patreon or some shit. Not or some shit. Actually do it. This is the first year. This is the year. 29 isn’t too old. People have whole other careers and then after that decide that they want to be musicians and make Patreon pages and stuff like that.

Solid ep of the walking dead. No doubt. I’m just thinking how I don’t really want to keep watching and get more attahed to Glenn just to watch him die. I also can’t really believe that there are 8 (9?) seasons of this.

So theoretically you have an audience before you get a Patreon page, but maybe having a Patreon page can just like be the thing that keeps me consistent. And helps me to push to build an audience. I don’t really want to like push/spam out to lots of people on facebook or anything. But eveytime that I make something I can link to the patreon. that’s legit. That’s not too much.

Cuz season 2 and so far season 3 are pretty legit. Butlikenothingcanbegoodforeverright.

Goals probably. Make and release a thing every two weeks for a year. Release the album next year in 4 parts. 4 shows. that’s a lot of goals. Need to release EP soonishhh. This calendar year.

Sam Columna
This is a blog about the Seeing Someone Lyric Video

X Men: Avengers in Theaters Summer 2020

I’m writing this lyric video while I’m listening to a New Yorker short story called “Cat Person,” — Advisory it’s got sexual content and is awkward. Also, now that I finished it, it is depressing.

You can’t really write a thing and listen to a thing at the same time. You also probably can’t read a thing and listen to a different thing at the same time, so if you’re listening to Cat Person just go do that. It’s like 40 minutes long but sometimes literature is important, and even though the New Yorker is a little pretentious I mean what would JD Salinger have done without them? And also one of my favorite things is when you finish reading or writing a thing, or you’re in the middle of it, and you can feel your brain thinking in the style of whatever you’re reading.

To the lyric video though. To the song. Seeing Someone is the title track of this EP that I’ve been working on. I wrote a little in the blog about Couples Therapy about how something I’m playing with in the EP is icons and etc and, spoiler alert, there are actual icons in this video, not just stock footage icons.

It’s funny too how words can not mean what they mean, or how words can just turn into little stick figure pictures, or how difficult it is to really believe what somebody says to you. It’s why the chorus of the lyric video is expressed via emoji. It’s probably something else that I’m playing with in this EP, how words are not really words, and the world is run by an advanced Crayfish overlord.

Anyway, this has been interesting. I played with the idea of “seeing” and the idea of “someone” and I made it hard to read the words sometimes, with the message being: seeing someone is hard (spoiler alert: two levels, metaphors, form=function).

Sam Columna
Truth isn't truth

Late last night Brittany and I were walking the dog. She pointed at what seemed to be a weird looking rock and said, 

"Is that a lobster?"

It looked to me like a weird looking rock, so I said, "no I think it's a rock."

Neither of us were certain. It had been raining so I kicked some rain water at it. It did not move. I kicked more rain water at it. A couple of its legs moved on one side. 

It was a crayfish. I get a little creeped out by things that don't look human so I shuddered and turned away.

Brittany said, "there's another one,"  and gestured at a slow moving, much less dead rock/crayfish scrabbing across the parking lot. The dog was also disturbed, and he barked. There were more of them. Maybe like 5-10 total. Even though she'd lived at these apartments for a year, this was the first time she had seen crayfish scrabbing across the parking lot. "Do they live in the lake?"

This morning we walked back to where we saw them and found a lone, detached claw. Brittany said, "now we know they were real."

One of the cool things about "Sharp Objects" is that Camille Preaker is an unreliable narrator. Her memories/alcoholic trauma hallucinations co-exist with the real world, and this is one of my most/least favorite things about living with mental health problems: No matter how strongly I think I know a thing, there's a part of me that goes, "yeah, but are you sure?"

So in some ways it's comforting that we're all, collectively, questioning the nature of reality now. Those were both rocks, and lobsters. Scrabbing is a real word. I cannot wait for the uncontrollable laughing.

Sam Columna
This is a blog about the Couples Therapy Lyric Video

It's a bit late, because I just now decided that I'd like to write little blogs to talk about the lyric videos. Maybe hopefully I will write a blog about the Seeing Someone Lyric video and post that right afterwards.

Couples therapy was the second song that came out of my 2018 24 hr album project. It was the first song that was not complete garbage. It has an interesting chord change or two, and the melody covers that chord change, and I like that.

My initial thought for the lyric video was to put the lyric on top of footage of people fighting. What I really wanted to find was footage of that old Rock em Sock em Robots boxing toy - but it's important to find footage that you're legally allowed to use, and besides that the song ended up being long enough to need multiple footage(s). 

I went down a bit of a stock footage rabbit hole at I looked for people fighting. I looked for happy couples. I looked for dogs. Eventually I came across some suspicious working out softcore stock footage and suddenly the lyric video made an odd turn. I thought that I wanted it to feel like I was subliminally hinting at something. Was I hinting at something? Was I just putting random footage together? Who really knows.

Something that I'm playing with in the art for this EP is icons, symbols that represent a person, the difficulty of seeing a person as real thing, not an emoji or a triangle with legs and arms and a head. I told myself, stock footage goes well with this thought. These people are fake. This is not a real proposal. Form = Function. Take me back to poetry school and cover me in sugar, please.

Sam Columna